Last night we had a storm here - a pretty severe one. Not an unusual occurrence this time of year.

Well, LAST Tuesday we had a storm that was really quite severe and I was caught in the middle of it. Driving to the gym, all the lights were out along my chosen route. Branches were down in the road, winds buffeted against my car. An asshole was driving full speed on the wrong side of the road, heading right towards my car on the unlit street to avoid a fallen tree limb. All signs pointed to chaos.

Caught in the middle of this, I turned the radio on. Flipping through the channels as my dilapidated car leaked rainwater on me through the missing door seals I could not find ONE radio station in town broadcasting severe weather alerts. Finally I approached the gym. The traffic to my left was at a standstill, and I needed to get over, but there was a downed line hanging in the middle of the road. People were allowing it to scale along the sides of their SUVs, inanely plodding toward whatever shelter they were on their way to.

The rain had stopped. I finally made my way over. I went into the gym. I grabbed a bottle of water and stood there at the counter while the aerobic crazed counter girls completely ignored me for what must have been two minutes. This is nothing new as I am consistently ignored and treated rudely by these children that work the counter. Get one alone and it's okay, but if there are more than one they will usually have to finish conducting their conversation about Britney Spears or a disappointing pedicure before I will be acknowledged.

At last, one of them deigned to acknowledge me by flippantly stating, "I can't sell you that. The register is closed."

"Uh, okay," I answered flatly, "Is the gym closed?"

"Yeah," said the frosted blonde child patronizingly, "There was a tornado."

"Really,' I said - more a statement than a question.

"Yeah," she replied as if I were the real moron. Thanks, bim. Great customer service!

I left. Traffic had been diverted off the main road right through the very parking lot my car was in and were moving about a foot every minute. Debris peppered the lot. Signs were down. A shed had blown in from someone's yard. I found another exit to the parking lot and avoided the worst of it - all the while scanning the radio to see if I could find any verification for the tornado I was apparently too STUPID to have been aware of if the counter child's attitude was any indication.

Behind the mall, and further and further from my desired destination, I continued to flip through the radio stations and the closest thing I found in 20 minutes of driving was a warning for a remote, sparsely populated county, cautioning against strong winds. Yes thank you. Spencer County may experience strong winds. What about Jefferson County, with a population of nearly a million? No news.

No news. No sirens. No warnings.

No power. No lights. No problem?

If the shoddy coverage by the radio stations around here was any indication, I guess so! 30,000 people lost power and not a peep on the AM or FM dial. Thanks a lot you doppler radar bastards!


Well, last night there was a storm. It was severe, but certainly not the mother of all storms. You wouldn't know that by the endless sirens, though. TORNADO WARNING! Yes, it was everywhere.

It's the Tuesday following the last tornado (which in the end couldn't be verified as having occurred) and I'm supposed to believe that there's another one? At the same time? On the same night of the week?

You sons of bitches are simply trying to gain back our confidence by blasting us all out of bed with you're obnoxious sirens. Yes severe weather, but aren't you overcompensating a little bit with 2 hours worth of bone numbing tornado sirens? We get the picture.

You can not predict the weather. You can not warn us. You can only conjecture and most of the time you are wrong. I hope the doppler radars are swept up in a tornado next time. That way, at least they'll have an excuse.